I wish I could say I secured a table for a decadent meal or I am preparing for a dream trip. Instead I am having reservations about the choice of nursing home I plan on moving my mother to on May 1st. For thousands of caregivers who cannot provide the proper care at home and make the difficult decision to place a loved one in a facility it is a heart wrenching choice. I have had to live with this decision for 5 years now. Five years of paying the astronomical costs for care is forcing me to move her to a facility that accepts Medicaid. The money runs out so quickly when you’re paying $6,000 to $10,000 a month. A month. Not all facilities accept Medicaid so that slashes your options. Then from those options, none of them really live up to the standard of where you’d want your loved one to be. The idea of having to settle is not a comforting feeling. In life we are encouraged to never settle – not in relationships, not in choosing a hairdresser, a therapist, a place of employment. You always want to find the best fit. There is no such thing as a best fit when it comes to health care facilities. There will always be something or someone who rubs you the wrong way.
I have a couple of days to finalize my decision on the move. At this hour my gut is telling me not to move her to this new place. I know I cannot keep her at her current facility because they do not accept Medicaid. I don’t have the time or energy to write about how I feel about elder care in America and the Medicaid system right now. Thinking about this will only upset me more. All of this is timely and what I am dealing with today as you read this. I pray the solution will reveal itself quickly and the only things that will become settled are my concerns.